Well here we are. The beginning of our shared journey through the wild world of pro wrestling. I’m definitely overthinking this opening so I’ll take a page out of Starrcade’s book and jump straight into the action. My name is Caleb, I love pro wrestling, and I need an avenue to express that love. Get comfy in those nose bleeds and let’s talk about Starrcade 1983: A Flare For The Gold.
Match #1: The Assassins (Assassin #1 and Assassin #2) /w Paul Jones vs Rufus R Jones and Bugsy McGraw
This show does not waste any time and starts out with a cold open of our two teams already in the ring. Fun fact: Assassin #2 would later be Hercules in the WWF! I think that’s fun. People don’t really talk about Hercules a lot these days. Rufus R Jones is the NWA Mid Atlantic Champion so his belt is safe for the night as it can’t change hands in a tag match. Bugsy McGraw is insanely over. He’s another guy you don’t hear about a lot anymore but this North Carolina crowd couldn’t get enough of him. And with a name like Bugsy, who can blame them? This match isn’t anything to write home about, but it is kind of funny. The majority of this contest is Bugsy and Rufus beating on the heels and then out of nowhere The Assassins win with a roll up. I laughed my ass off I cannot believe Jim Crockett Promotions would have the hero of North Carolina, Bugsy McGraw lose in this way.
We then cut to our announcers for the evening, Bob Caudle and Gordon Solie. They hype up the main event and send it back to a young Tony Schiovane, who was the same age as I am now. Tony lets us know he’s gonna do a ton of interviews tonight (boy does he) while Ric Flair and Roddy Piper hang out in the background. Presumably they’re talking about their plans to win the tag titles from The Spirit Squad in 23 years. Also Piper’s New Japan shirt is so cool and I want it really bad.
Match #2: Johnny Weaver and Scott McGhee vs Kevin Sullivan and Mark Lewis /w Gary Hart
Once again this match isn’t anything too impressive but it did accomplish one thing. I’m a Scott McGhee mark now. Not to sound like Jim Ross, but what a great young athlete. He really stands out here. Super fast paced and athletic. The heels slow him down pretty early but he looked so good in those opening seconds. If I was JCP I would’ve booked him and Steamboat for the next big show. I also forget how old Kevin Sullivan was. My main association with him is being in the Dungeon of Doom, but he was working for the entirety of the 70s and 80s. The best spot of the match is when it looks like Scott is gonna make the hot tag and just barely grazes Weaver’s hand, but it was through the middle rope so it doesn’t count. We need more stuff like this now! The dastardly heels get the win here and proceed to bludgeon our heroes in the aftermath. Sore winners! The honorable Angelo Mosca tries to make the save, but gets busted open for his troubles.
Bob and Gordon are disgusted by these heelish actions. And who wouldn’t be? We get some fluff with Barbara Clary interviewing a family before we get Schiovane interviewing the NWA World Champion, Harley Race. Harley is so intimidating here. He’s been around the block enough to know how to hurt a man so he’s not worried about Flair in the slightest. Especially since his boys Bob Orton and Dick Slater beat him down not too long ago. Harley is such an underrated promo. He makes it feel so real. Rest in Peace.
Match #3: Carlos Colon vs Abdullah The Butcher
Look, when we talk about wrestling it’s hard to avoid shitty people. It’s hard to ignore so I’m not going to. Carlos Colon is a wrestler and promoter you might know best for two reasons. Reason #1: He’s Carlito’s dad and Reason #2: He defended and repeatedly booked Jose Gonzalez, who murdered Brusier Brody. Yes, this event takes place before any of that happened. But it’s impossible for me to ignore. This match was supposedly banned in Puerto Rico, which is why it was sanctioned here. In my opinion this is the worst match of the night. Carlos tries to attack the legs of Abdullah and even steals a foreign object from him, but that’s not enough to stop the interference of Hugo Savinovich, who costs Colon the match. Maybe I’m just frustrated about having to watch a Carlos Colon match but this just felt like nothing to me.
Tony Schiovane interviews Angelo Mosca, who’s a hell of a promo. He’s furious about the heels beating him up but he swears that he’s still up to referee the tag title match later. Wondeful babyface stuff.
Match #4: Chief Wahoo McDaniel and Mark Youngblood vs Dick Slater and Bob Orton Jr.
Shout out to my birthday brother, Mark Youngblood. This match isn’t too exciting but both sides know their respective roles perfectly. Mark Youngblood is the young babyface being bested by the heels, Wahoo McDaniel is the fierce veteran, and Orton and Slater are absolute bastards. They just feel like awful men. Bob Orton delivers a great boot to the face. I’ve never been the biggest fan of his stuff, but I love a good looking shot. This is also the match where I noticed Gordon Solie pronounces Suplex as “Soup-Lay” and I love that. If Pat McAfee did that I would actually like him. That’s not the truth. The heels get the win here with a pin on Youngblood that Wahoo is too late to break up. Really tragic finish. Then Orton and Slater start to hear voices in their heads and fucking destroy Wahoo’s arm just to make a statement. Somebody stop these guys!
We get a Ric Flair interview where he doesn’t feel at all like Ric Flair. Seeing Flair cut the most basic babyface promo feels so weird. I was expecting all the “WOOOOOOO’s” but there were none to be found. Anyways. Jay Youngblood and Ricky Steamboat also cut bland promos that I don’t really remember. But I do like both of them.
Adrenaline in his soul, I can’t hear Dusty Rhodes. That’s right, Barbara Clary interviews Dusty Rhodes but the mic isn’t working. Genuinely the worst possible promo to have technical difficulties for.
Match #5: NWA Television Championship, Mask vs Title: Charlie Brown vs The Great Kabuki /w Gary Hart
The TV title is only up for grab for the first 15 minutes of this match. AEW just did a similar stipulation. So Charlie Brown is Jimmy Valiant in a mask. And The Great Kabuki was the first person to spray poison mist! This is a really fun match. Charlie Brown is very gangly, but he moves his body so perfectly. He feels awkward and rugged in a very realistic way. And he sells everything like he’s dying. Valiant/Brown is up there with Sami Zayn as one of the best jelly leg sellers. Kabuki’s strikes pair so well with Brown’s rugged style. I would’ve gladly watched 10 more minutes of this match. After seeming like he is about to actually die, Charlie Brown is able to get a burst of energy and win the match and the title! Honestly pretty funny because if that finish happened today in a certain promotion, all of the usual suspects would make a big stink about it. I really can’t get over how unique Charlie Brown feels in the ring.
Those mean bastards Bob Orton and Dick Slater are in the locker room and are very happy that they keep hurting people. Honestly disappointed Angelo Mosca didn’t burst in and beat them up.
Dusty Rhodes is back and this time the mic is working. Dusty is the only person tonight who thinks Harley is winning the main event because he wants to take the belt from him. Not the best Dusty promo ever but he is good. Obviously.
Match #6 Dog Collar Match: Greg Valentine vs Roddy Piper
This is easily THE match of the night. After a really funny opening spot of them playing tug of war, these two beat the shit out of each other. It is just a nasty fight and it almost feels real. Like you’re watching two guys fighting in a bar. It’s not a technical masterpiece but it’s a bloody good time. The main story going into this match is that Valentine injured Piper’s ear and wants to injure the other one as well. Piper just wants revenge and will happily beat Valentine with a chain to get it. This match doesn’t feel like the winner is based on who strategized the best. It’s about who got that lucky shot that puts their opponent away. Piper was the man tonight, but he could’ve just as easily lost. There’s not much to say here, it’s just a fantastic brawl.
We get an interview with Ric Flair and Wahoo McDaniel. Flair is pretty bad here. This is his second of like 4 interviews tonight. But the best part of this is when Wahoo says “That title is coming back to Charlotte, Flair” Haha.
Match #7 NWA World Tag Team Championships: Ricky Steamboat and Jay Youngblood vs The Brisco Brothers (Jack and Jerry)
Angelo Mosca is the referee here and he’s wearing a PWI shirt. You would not see that now. Also during the announcements, one of the Brisco’s is just standing on the top rope. This is a very solid tag match. Steamboat is the obvious stand out with his fast paced style. Seeing him in trunks is so weird. Angelo Mosca is obviously no nonsense and clearly prefers the babyfaces. That makes for a great argument for the heels losing here. He was biased! Lots of good selling from the faces, who fight through to win the world tag titles for the fifth time! Why is this one so short? That was a good match.
It’s intermission time since they need to build the cage for the main event. Lots of interviews but the best are Charlie Brown going nuts with how happy he is to be the NWA Television champion, and Roddy Piper who cuts the promo of the night about how he lost one ear but still has one left. Awesome. Roddy piper and Charlie Brown have way more energy than the top babyface who is about to win the world title.
Match #8: NWA World Heavyweight Championship, Steel Cage Match: “Nature Boy” Ric Flair vs Harley Race
This is the longest match of the night so it starts off slow with lots of rest holds. It’s a really good back and forth, but the cage is the main character here. Both guys use it to annihilate one another. I haven’t mentioned the canvas, but they never clean it or change it out so its been collecting blood all night, which is fucking gross. Clean the mat! No one wants to wrestle on the dry blood of like 8 other people. While Flair’s promos have been bland, his presentation here is not. That entrance with the smoke and lights is iconic and you’ll usually see that shot in packages about Flair’s career. But with this presentation, it’s clear that Flair is meant to be a villain. The hair, the robe. He feels like a bad guy. But he is over as a face here and this is Flair country. Race does everything he can to feel like a threat, but also takes as much as he gives. He makes sure Flair looks like a conquering hero. You might be surprised to hear that Ric Flair wins his second official world title with a crossbody, but he does! I was expecting more from this match, but it was very good! It’s almost impossible to follow Piper/Valentine but they still put on a solid match. This is also the end of Harley’s final official run with the NWA title and he’s probably the wrestler most people think of when they see that belt. End of an era.
For some reason we get twenty minutes of interviews and promos after the finish. I won’t cover everything, but here are the main highlights. Ric Flair cuts a heartfelt promo that is good, but still doesn’t feel like Ric Flair. This is really weirding me out. Dusty Rhodes calls out Ric Flair, which will be the main event of Starrcade next year. We also get a great promo from Harley Race about how he’s disappointed about the result, but won’t stop until he’s champion again. Look, I’ll say it. I think Harley Race is kind of fucking awesome. I’m rooting for him more than I am this bland version of Ric Flair.
There you have it. Starrcade ’83 I had a lot of fun with this show. It wasn’t perfect but it made me a fan of guys like Scott McGhee and Charlie Brown. Piper and Valentine absolutely killed each other. Plus our good friend Angelo Mosca was going wild. This show had waaaay too many interviews, especially since they would only interview the same six people. Anyways, come back next week to hear me talk about Starrcade 1984! Until then keep your noses clean (Is this my sign off?)