This is a pretty nothing show, but there are a couple interesting things to discuss so let’s jump right into it.

We get a cold open of a snake slithering around since Jake Roberts will be wrestling Ricky Steamboat tonight. Adrian Adonis has a life sized cut out of Paul Orndorff because he’s playing mind games. Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan are on commentary tonight. Vince is unbearable here. He’s always a bad announcer, but with Heenan he’s trying too hard to act like a face version of Heenan.

Mean Gene is with the Funk brothers and Jimmy Hart. Look, I don’t even remember what they said because Hoss Funk says “The long way” how am I supposed to remember anything else?

Mean Gene is now with JYD, Hulk Hogan, and the Haiti Kid. Hogan and JYD have switched gimmicks here. Hogan is wearing JYD’s chain and JYD is wearing Hogan’s Hulkamania shirt. Hogan doesn’t need to be here at all since the story is between The Haiti Kid and Jimmy Hart. This entire match is an excuse for those two to chase each other around.

Match #1- Hulk Hogan and The Junkyard Dog/w The Haiti Kid vs Terry and Hoss Funk/w Jimmy Hart

Terry Funk leaves the WWF at the end of May 1986 and holy shit can you tell he has a foot out the door. See, the Funks being here doesn’t really matter because they’re only here so Jimmy Hart can be out here. The Funk’s don’t get much here. They look like chumps throughout the match and they never feel like a threat. Haiti Kid chases Jimmy Hart, Hulk Hogan chases Jimmy Hart. But it doesn’t matter. This all started as a feud between JYD and Terry Funk, but this match probably should have just been Haiti Kid vs Jimmy Hart or Hogan and Haiti Kid vs Jimmy and Adrian Adonis. The things I personally find interesting like watching JYD and the Funks wrestle is put on the back burner. Hell, there’s a spot where JYD has to take Haiti Kid to the back and Hogan is able to handle the 2-on-1 situation just fine. The match ends with Hogan pinning Funk after a leg drop, but Funk no sells it and stands up right after. Get the fuck out of there Terry! This also feels like an attempt from Hogan to take the thunder away from a wrestler who is right behind him in popularity. I hate that fucker so much. Lame match and bad way to start the show. Also Bobby Heenan says some very outdated stuff about Haiti Kid. You’re better than that, Brain!

We see the weigh in for King Kong Bundy vs Uncle Elmer. Uncle Elmer is eating pig parts while getting weighed. That has to be cheating.

Match #2- King Kong Bundy vs Uncle Elmer

This is a nothing match that lasts 2 minutes. Uncle Elmer hits his own Avalanche and then Bundy dodges a 2nd and hits the splash. This is nice aftercare for Bundy after his loss to Hogan at WrestleMania, but Bundy isn’t very fun to watch in the ring. I also cannot stand Uncle Elmer. No more hillbilly gimmicks! Mark Briscoe gets a pass but I don’t trust him. I will not clarify what that means.

Mean Gene is with Adrian Adonis and Jimmy Hart. Adonis thinks Paul Orndorff is so hot. I mean he’s not really my type, but I do recognize that he’s a good-looking guy. Did you know he only accepted an induction into the WWE Hall of Fame for the payday and left his plaque in the hotel room? We then get a promo where Mean Gene and Orndorff are in a sauna together. Orndorff implies that Adonis is gay. Yeah, I was able to put that together. Homophobia in wrestling is so fucking funny because you’re naked in a sauna with Mean Gene and call yourself “Mr. Wonderful” but draw the line at wearing makeup.

Match #3- “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff vs “Adorable” Adrian Adonis/w Jimmy Hart

This is also a nothing match. Orndorff starts hot before Adonis starts cheating and takes over. There is a lot less bumping from Adonis than normal here. The worst thing about this match is the commentary. Vince is trying so hard to insult Adonis, saying he’s a bad person for dressing like that. Progressive Bobby Heenan points out that people should be allowed to dress however they want. Wow, what a heel! Orndorff wants to beat Adonis so bad that he pushes the referee and gets himself disqualified. He then starts tearing off Adonis’ dress thing and Vince starts freaking out because of how fat Adonis is. You can hear that weird Vince voice come out for the first time while he calls Adonis “gross” If you want to see gross google “Vince McMahon 2025”

We get an odd segment where Mean Gene and Hulk Hogan are talking earlier in the day. Hogan is still traumatized by the attack by Bundy and Muraco from a couple months ago. This could work with like Hangman Adam Page, but from Hogan it feels lifeless. Do this BEFORE he beats Bundy. You’re still the world champion and just finished someone else’s feud earlier. I hate this dude.

Mean Gene is with Ricky Steamboat. Now you know I love Steamboat, but he cannot talk to save his life. He just yells about beating the snake. We then get a Jake Roberts promo where he’s holding his snake, Damien. Jake says him and Damien have taught each other a lot and that snakes have been around since the dawn of time. Watch this promo and give me a good reason Jake never wins a championship in the WWF. I’m waiting.

Jake Roberts makes his entrance and so does Steamboat but Jake attacks him before the bell! He then fucking DDT’s Steamboat onto the concrete which gave Steamboat an actual concussion. He rolls Steamboat into the ring and puts Damien on him. The match never happens. This is fucking perfect. No notes here. I mean, I would have preferred if Steamboat didn’t get a concussion here. But what a great angle!

Mean Gene is with The British Bulldogs and Lou Albano, who all love each other.

Match #4- WWF Tag Team Championship- 2 out of 3 Falls- The British Bulldogs ( Davey Boy Smith and Dynamite Kid)/w Lou Albano vs The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff/w “Classie” Freddie Blassie

This is a strange match. British Bulldog matches usually focus on showing how strong Davey is and how athletic Dynamite is. This match just has them getting their shit rocked for 10 minutes and Dynamite barely does anything. Sheik almost immediately gets the first fall on Davey by making him submit. The heels then beat down Davey for a while until Davey gets a sneaky roll up for the 2nd fall. Dynamite finally gets tagged in and just gets beaten up until him and Davey fake a tag and Davey gets an inside cradle for the win. What exactly was this? The story was that the Bulldogs are the underdogs, which is fine. And they say Dynamite might be hurt. But this feels strange. See, Dynamite Kid is notorious for having physical issues. He gets a really bad back injury in late 1986. He’s also a huge asshole who has behavioral issues and loves attacking and threatening people. I don’t know if his role in this was a punishment or something, but it was very strange. I’m not saying you can’t have babyfaces fight from underneath, but this was a bad example of how to do that.

Welp, that was a very bad show. The only thing I liked was the Roberts and Steamboat angle. All of the matches were bad. I think this is the worst show I’ve covered so far. Back to the NWA next week. Finally, some fucking food.