I’ve always been fascinated by Saturday Night’s Main Event. WWE recently brought it back and I couldn’t be happier. It has such a good, retro vibe that fits wrestling perfectly. I think having a TV special every once in a while that isn’t a PPV or PLE is a nice way to spice things up. It would run regularly from 1985-1992, revived from 2006-2008, and was revived yet again in 2024. It’s one of those WWE touchstones outside of the big 4 events that feels weird for them to not be doing. Like remember when they ditched most of their cool PPV’s like Backlash, No Mercy, and Vengeance for gimmick shows like TLC and Hell in a Cell? It’s such an integral piece of the history of the WWE which is what made me decide to review all of them as a part of my reviews. Anyways, this is a short show and I’ve got stuff to do so get comfy in those Nose Bleeds and let’s talk about Saturday Night’s Main Event.
We get a cold open with Cyndi Lauper and Wendi Richter. They’re ready to take it to The Fabulous Moolah and say she’ll be beaten, annihilated, and destroyed. We can only hope and pray. Hulk Hogan and Mr. T cut a promo where it becomes obvious that Mr. T is just a better promo than Hogan. “But Caleb I was 8 years old and Hulk Hogan was an action figure come to life” I don’t give a shit! Speaking of bad people, here’s Vince McMahon. Ugh. This is the first review where he’s appeared physically and I hate this dude so much. He’s on commentary for the whole show and I completely tuned him out because he’s an all time shit announcer. Why you might ask? Because he never has anything of value to say. He wants to play this jovial “Ohh quite the maneuver there I might try to make a joke haha” type of guy and it’s awkward. He’s always laughing. What’s so fucking funny, Vince? Anyways, Jesse Ventura is also here and he’s wonderful. Jesse is so excited for a night of great action. I hate this commentary duo because me tuning out Vince means I accidentally tune out Jesse. Also it’s almost Mother’s Day and that plays into the show a lot.
Mean Gene interviews Lou Albano, The U.S. Express, and Ricky Steamboat, who are all excited to wrestle the heels tonight. Lou Albano says Freddie Blassie better watch out and it made me realize something. Managers used to be rivals. Like if two teams had a manager the managers would always say stuff like “You better watch out for me” It’s a bummer the only proper manager in WWE today is Paul Heyman. I like managers.
Match #1: Nikolai Volkoff, The Iron Sheik, and George “The Animal” Steele/w “Classy” Freddie Blassie vs The U.S. Express (Barry Windham and Mike Rotunda) and Ricky Steamboat/w “Captain” Lou Albano
This is a fun opener and easily match of the night. Mike Rotunda is the easy stand out here. Lots of great athleticism, especially in the opening with Iron Sheik. The crowd loves it and there’s such good energy here. The main story of the match is the heels failing to work together because George Steele is too strange. If you don’t know, George Steele is a hairy little man and a very weird character. He just acts like an animal and eats turnbuckle pads because they’re delicious. So needless to say, he doesn’t make for a great teammate. The faces are a well oiled machine, working together to best the heels. Rotunda actually does like three leg drops in a row and like…did Hogan see this? He was probably too busy trying to decide which of his friends wives he wants to try to seduce. Vince keeps calling Steamboat “Steamer” I hate Vinces obsession with bad nicknames. Sheik and Volkoff finally have enough of Steel and ditch him to eat the pin, leading to a babyface victory. Afterwards, George Steele is distraught and Captain Lou comforts him, setting up his face turn. Mean Gene tries to interview Sheik and Volkoff but Steele runs in and tries to attack them before running off. Really good stuff it’s such a natural way to turn Geoge Steele face,
Now it’s time for Piper’s Pit! Hot Rod is here with Bob Orton to talk to Paul Orndorff about how he ate the pin at WrestleMania and they feel like he’s not their friend anymore. This is a fucking hilarious. Orndorff is such a weirdly bad talker here. He only speaks in cliches like telling Piper he can sit down by saying “ladies first” He then starts yelling at Bob Orton to stand in the corner because Bob Orton is his baby girl. Orton is not pleased with this considering he’s about to wrestle for the world title in a few minutes. Piper blames Orndorff for the loss at Mania. Orndorff says Piper drinks his own bath water. Huh? Orndorff and his tiny shorts decide to square up. Piper and Orton attack him and Mr. T runs in for the save. I guess Hogan couldn’t be bothered. Very silly.
Mean Gene interviews Hulk Hogan who says that the Hulkamaniacs turned Orndorff face and that he’s about to have a special match for his “Mother brother” Have I mentioned I hate this guy?
Match #2: WWF World Championship- Hulk Hogan/w Mr. T vs “Cowboy” Bob Orton/w “Rowdy” Roddy Piper
This is not a bad match. I mean I don’t love that they made Orton look like a chump right before but he’s a good heel challenger. See, Hogan is not the best wrestler. For a good prime era Hogan match he needs a heel that can really sell for him and Cowboy Bob does a great job. He makes Hogan look like a million bucks which says more about Bob than it does the Hulkster. For some reason the mat is really loud during this match. It was very distracting. In the end, Piper hits Hogan which causes a DQ and costs his boy the match. I don’t know why you’d wanna protect the guy you just made look like a chump, but I’m not Vince. He’s supposedly a genius but I’ve seen no evidence of this. Mr. T and Paul Orndorff fight off the heels and that’s that. It’ll be 22 more years until an Orton holds the WWE championship.
Mean Gene interviews Fabulous Moolah, who says she wants Cyndi Lauper banned from ringside. Cyndi Lauper says she won’t be barred and accidentally says “Wrestling Mania” she does get barred in the end. I don’t know what else to say here.
Match #3: WWF Women’s Championship- The Fabulous Moolah vs Wendi Richter/w Cyndi Lauper
Our friend Howard Finkel announces that Cyndi will be barred from ringside, which is rude because she just wants to have fun. This match is really awful. Fabulous Moolah is so so so terrible here. She’s in her early 60’s and can barely go so her selling is awkward and her offence is mostly pulling. She also takes a scary fall to the outside. But I can’t say I feel sorry for her considering all of the awful things she’s done. The finish is pretty good with Wendi reversing a slam into an inside cradle. Gotta protect 60-year-old Moolah. Cyndi runs down to the ring and a fan tries to steal her jacket. In my WrestleMania review I said that Cyndi enhanced Wendi. But here she overshadows her. It’s not her fault I love Cyndi Lauper, but Wendi feels like her vessel to wrestle rather than her own character. And she’s the champion.
Mean Gene interviews The Junkyard Dog and his mom, Bertha Ritter. JYD is happy to be here, and his mom is proud of him which is nice.
Match #4: The Junkyard Dog/w Bertha Ritter vs Pete Doherty
This is just a squash match, but they start fighting on the apron which is pretty cool. This is just 3 minutes of JYD doing his signature moves and he picks up the easy win in front of his mom. good for JYD
The in-ring action is over, but Cyndi Lauper’s Mother’s Day Party has just begun! This is a short segment but basically, Iron Sheik and Volkoff are at this party even though their moms aren’t here. Who invited them? Them just being there is great I love them. Freddie Blassie does this bit that I just know makes Vince laugh his ass off. He’s with a gorgeous young woman and keeps saying “This is my mom hehehe” Jerry Lawler does this bit in the 90’s too and like what is the joke here? Vince is such a genius I’m sure there’s a HILARIOUS answer, right? See it’s Mother’s Day, but he’s gonna fuck this woman who he’s saying is his mom. Alright, Oz Cobb. Lou Albano reads a poem that mentions Jesus or something? Hulk Hogan apparently has a mom. I assumed he was created in a lab, and they forgot to give him hair on top of his head. Cyndi Lauper’s mom is here and they’re hanging out when The Fabulous Moolah shows up dressed like Smoke from Mortal Kombat’s Grandmother. She tries to bury Cyndi’s mom and a fight breaks out, leading to Moolah and Mean Gene falling into the Mother’s Day cake. Moolah is lame as hell, but Mean Gene really sells it because he fucking rocks.
What a fun and brisk show. Decent in ring action and some goofy segments to laugh at. What more can you ask for? This set up some good stuff for the future. And while I am excited to talk more about the WWF, next week we’re gonna be returning to the NWA for the first ever Great American Bash. I’ll see you then.