It is so nice to be talking about Jim Crockett promotions again. After The Wrestling Classic I needed a break from the Federation. For the 2nd year in a row, we’re getting Rhodes vs Flair and prepare to be insanely annoyed for the second year in a row. Get comfy in those nose bleeds, it’s time for Starrcade ’85! Wait why is it called The Gathering?

We see a disco ball, which is fun but also serves as a dark omen for the eventual arrival of Disco Inferno. Bob Caudle and Tony Schiavone are on the call tonight with Johnny Weaver as our interviewer. This show is being broadcast from 2 separate venues. The Greensboro Coliseum in Greensboro, North Carolina and the Omni in Atlanta, Georgia.

Match #1: Vacant NWA Mid Atlantic Championship – Sam Houston vs Krusher Khruschev

Both of these men are making their Starrcade debut. If you’re wondering who Krusher Khruschev is, he’s Demolition Smash (and yes, also The Repo Man) This is the first match from Greensboro tonight. The refs tonight look very snazzy with their yellow jumpsuits. There’s not a whole lot to say with this match, but it’s not bad at all. It’s biggest weakness is that there are a lot of rest spots, and you can always tell when both guys are calling spots. Krusher does a decent job as the monster heel here, even if he does loudly scream “NOOO NOOOO NOOO” at one point when Houston has him in a hold. To his credit, Houston does a Tom and Jerry scream when he gets caught in a bear hug. Krusher is able to capture the title after a huge clothesline, but Houston’s foot was on the rope. This gives momentum for his Russian pals who will be defending their tag titles later tonight.

Match #2: Mexican Death Match- Manny Fernandez vs Abdullah The Butcher/w Paul Jones

Our first match from the Omni. This is both men’s second Starrcade. What is a Mexican Death Match? It’s a No DQ match where the only way to win is to grab a sombrero on a pole. Abdullah is already bleeding when he comes out, which is gross! This match falls into a pretty quick formula. One guy will grab a weapon and stab or whack the other in the head for a while. They trade doing this like three times, but they do sprinkle in Manny doing an impressive suplex and monkey flip. The highlight of the match is Abdullah seemingly stabbing Manny in the taint. Not enough taint spots in modern wrestling. Manny pulls out the hard-fought win and throws the sombrero super high into the air and catches it. Ya know, I’m surprised Manny isn’t front row for every Cody Rhodes match considering his relationship with Dusty.

Johnny Weaver is backstage with Krusher Khruschev, who is not even trying to sound Russian. He puts over Sam Houston and is happy to be holding his championship.

Match #3: Texas Bullrope Match- Ron Bass vs Black Bart/w JJ Dillon

If Bass wins, he gets at LEAST 5 minutes with Dillon. This is both men’s second Starrcade matches and we’re back in Greensboro. This match is mostly them both using the bell on the bull rope as a bludgeon. They make it pretty clear Bass is going to win and Dillon looks terrified. Not a lot to say here, but Bass picks up the win, leading to our next match.

Match #4: Texas Bullrope- Ron Bass vs JJ Dillon

Dillon jumps Bass to try and get momentum against his tougher opponent. This is now Bass’ 3rd Starrcade match and Dillon’s first. Bass gets the upper hand quickly on the manager, trying to kill him by choking him with the rope. He’s beating the shit out of Dillon, and it rocks! This just feels so satisfying. But of course, Black Bart has to ruin it by piledriving Bass, which leads to JJ DILLON WINNING!! No! NOOOO! Son of a bitch, that’s not right! Those damn cowards. This rocked.

Match #5: Arm Wrestling – “Superstar” Billy Graham vs The Barbarian/w Paul Jones

Why are there so many stipulations on this show? It’s like Extreme Rules. We’re back at the Omni. This is Graham’s 2nd Starrcade match and Barbarian’s first. This is just an arm-wrestling match, why does it count as a match? Graham wins and someone throws a beer into the ring.

Match #6: “Superstar” Billy Graham vs The Barbarian/w Paul Jones

Why even do the arm wrestling? This is now Graham’s 3rd Starrcade match and Barbarian’s 2nd. This is a fairly nothing match. Graham wins by DQ after Paul Jones hits him with his cane and they brawl for a while. Look, I respect Billy Graham’s place in wrestling history, but this era of his career sucks. He’s just too past his prime to be engaging in any way. Did you know his final match was against Butch Reed?

Match #7: NWA National Heavyweight Title- “Nature Boy” Buddy Landel/w JJ Dillon vs Terry Taylor

Back to Greensboro! Both men’s first Starrcade and…hmmm… Why is Buddy Landel the Nature Boy? He looks like Flair and acts like Flair. The original plan was for him to win the NWA belt from Flair, but he had a falling out with the NWA shortly after Starrcade. I just don’t get why you would give someone the exact same gimmick as another wrestler like that? They’re not even in a team together. It would be like if “Hangman” Adam Page was world champion and Kyle Fletcher started dressing like a cowboy and calling himself “Hangman” Kyle Fletcher. That’s fucking odd! I felt nothing during this match, but loved the brutal throat stepping spot and it was a great finish with Landel reversing a suplex into a crossbody for the win.

Match #8: NWA National Tag Team Championships- The Minnesota Wrecking Crew (Arn and Ole Anderson) vs Billy Jack Hayes and Wahoo McDaniel

Back to The Omni! This is Ole’s 2nd Starrcade match, Wahoo’s 3rd, and the debut for Arn and Billy Jack. First of all, I fucking hate Ole Anderson. Racist old bitch. I really wasn’t feeling this match. There’s some good brawling and Wahoo actually looks good because you can use tag matches to hide people’s weaknesses really well. The heels win via some leg holding. Look, sometimes I just don’t have anything to say!

There’s almost no interviews tonight huh?

Match #9: NWA United States Championship “I Quit” Steel Cage Match- Magnum T.A. vs Tully Blanchard/w Baby Doll

Back to Greensboro! This is Tully’s 2nd Starrcade match and Magnum’s first and only. Did you know that Magnum is married to Tully’s ex-wife? This is easily match of the night for me. This is just two guys trying to kill each other while they SCREAM into the microphone. This is actually uncomfortable. Very few matches have ever felt as real as this. Two men with a grudge that are desperate to end it. Baby Doll is screaming in terror at ringside the whole time. Look, this match is mostly screaming. But that’s what makes it! It feels scary. Like I know both men are still around, but it made me feel like someone was going to die. Tully starts kicking and shoving the ref, breaks apart a wooden chair and tries to stab Magnum, but Magnum is able to wrestle the broken chair leg away form him and stabs Tully in the head until Tully quits!!! We have a new champion. Look, this is a 5 star match for me. This is probably the most real feeling wrestling match you’ll find. It’s a shame that Magnum T.A. had less than a year left in his career. Also is he Hangman’s biological father? Like, do we know for certain that they aren’t related?

Match #10: Atlanta Street Fight- Jimmy Valiant and Miss Atlanta Lively/w Big Mama vs The Midnight Express (Bobby Eaton and Dennis Condrey)/w Jim Cornette

Back to The Omni! This is Jimmy’s 3rd Starrcade match and the debut for Lively and The Midnight Express. Now, I know there are 3 questions you must be having. Who is Miss Atlanta Lively? Why that is Ronnie Garvin in drag. What is your opinion on Jim Cornette? Obviously a great manager and wrestling historian, but for someone who claims to be progressive he is a miserable and backwards ass fool. He has been consistently racist and homophobic to people he doesn’t like and is an all-around asshole. Putting this into the world means that there’s a small chance Cornette will get red in the face and call me “Sally San Diego” because I like Orange Cassidy. There is almost no one who has had a more negative influence on wrestling fans than him. He has done for wrestling what Max Landis did for Star Wars (I know Max also likes wrestling but he’s had no real influence on it) Also Cornette named his podcast after a real-life incident where he yelled at fast food workers in a drive thru. Fucking pathetic shit. But the most important question is of course….will I call Bobby Eaton his true name, Bobby Eaton Da Pussy? Yes, yes I will. Oh shit I have a match to talk about here I suppose. It was a mess but I like how Jimmy Valiant moves. There’s no one like him.

Johnny Weaver is with Magnum T.A. who puts over that U.S. title HUGE saying he will defend it against ANYBODY. He says he left a piece of himself in that ring tonight that he can never get back. Okay, this is clearly Hangman’s biological father.

Match #11: NWA World Tag Team Championship Steel Cage Match – Ivan and Nikita Koloff/w Krusher Khruschev vs The Rock N Roll Express/w Don Kernodle

Back to Greensboro for that venue’s main event! This is the 2nd Starrcade for the Russians and the 1st for the Rock N Roll Express. Firstly, I hate having actual tags in a cage match. I think it’s dumb. This was not a bad match, but I had a hard time getting into it. It’s all built around the Express outsmarting the heels and using babyface fire to eventually pick up a crowd popping win with a roll up. The Russians immediately beat down the faces in the aftermath. I love the booking here with Krusher winning the belt earlier in the night while his pals lose theirs. They got to hold it all for a couple hours. I wish I had more to say here. This show is a lot of “not much to say here” isn’t it? hmm.

Match #12: NWA World Heavyweight Title- “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes vs “Nature Boy” Ric Flair

Main Event time for The Omni! One year ago Dusty failed to finish the story for a dumb reason. And tonight? Oh boy just you wait. This is Flair’s 3rd Starrcade and Dusty’s 2nd. Dusty and Flair have a wonderful match here. Flair treats Dusty like a clear threat and is constantly trying to get away from him. He exploits Dusty’s injured foot whenever he can, but Dusty takes that personally and goes after Flair’s foot. This match also features the best “Figure 4 Reversal” spot I’ve ever seen. Dusty sells the hell out of it. There’s a moment where Flair sells the foot while Dusty does a crossbody and it looked like Flair tore something. We get a ref bump and Arn and Ole run in. Ole hits Dusty with a big knee and that could be the finish but NO DUSTY KICKS OUT he’s going to finish the story, folks! He reverses a body slam into the inside cradle and HES DONE IT!!! Dusty has won the NWA title from Ric Flair after an entire year of waiting. During the replay you can hear someone loudly saying and yelling “EXCUSE ME” and thankfully it is not Vickie Guerrero. Dusty Rhodes is backstage being doused in champagne. He won that title for the working man! Congratulations to Dusty Rhodes and to Jim Crockett promotions for their 50th anniversary. Now why does it say on Wikipedia that Dusty won by DQ and Flair is still the champ? Well you see, they lied! They gave Dusty the visual win to close the show and after the show they reversed the decision because of Arn and Ole running in. That makes no sense and is extremely stupid! So Dusty did win but the title reign doesn’t count. This is even worse than last year’s finish!

So what did I think of Starrcade ’85? It was fine! I had a lot more fun than with the recent WWF shows I’ve been covering, and I loved Tully vs Magnum. But a lot of these matches were kind of nothing. And the main event was so good but is ruined by making the actual finish non canon. Awful way to end your biggest show of the year. Anyways, I’ll be back soon to talk about weird WWF bullshit. Stay safe and look out for friends and family during this insane time.